I was flipping through the channels when “Dan in Real Life”
came on. Just when Steve Carell gets
caught in the bowling alley kissing the girl his brother broke up with two
hours earlier. That was embarrassing.
But so is bowling. Everything about bowling is humiliating. Just the fact that everyone’s looking at your
ass the whole time is enough. And then,
if you get a strike, you can’t really express the depths of your joy,
especially if everyone else sucks. So you have to act overly fake happy as
though you’re pretending to be happy.
And then if you put the ball in the gutter, you have to make it like you
practically did it on purpose, for laughs.
They shouldn't even call it Bowling. They should call it “Lying.”
Anyway. . .
On a much brighter note, I’m on a pizza and brownie only diet!
These are my two favorite foods so I’ve been celebrating for days. .
.with pizza and brownies. There’s
pizza everywhere. In my hair, on my
pants, all over the dog! It’s a glorious time in my life. I found these 210
calorie pizzas and 80 calorie sugar- free brownies in this new health food store
that just opened up. I know. I can’t believe
it either. Do you have any idea how long I’ve prayed for something like this to
happen to me? I don't even care about Valerie Bertanelli anymore. For a while I felt a little guilty about deserting her. I mean she's been on Jenny for like ten years. But the truth is she still looks a little fat, so why should we both suffer?
More importantly, next week they’re getting in these
tiny little apple pies!!