I finally got around to reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (circa 1989), and let me just say my hat is off to you, Stephen R. Covey, particularly in regard to the part about sharpening the old saw, but I’ll have you know there’s more than one way to skin a cat. I’d like to share my daily routine with you in case you want to incorporate some of my principles into your next book.
Here goes:
Wake Up.
Look at clock – this sometimes takes several hours.
Look down at my pajamas.
Decide to finish writing new book (Do not mention to anyone that you’ve only completed just the one chapter since 2011).
Scan help wanted ads for women over fifty with no skills or any real desire to do anything.
Put a coat and ski pants over pajamas.
Walk Dog.
Act like you didn’t see her go, but wave the doggie bag around in case there’s a cop.
Go home.
Think about arranging sweaters by color, neckline and fabric content.
Walk away from that project to take off nail polish.
Break for lunch.
Clear schedule for afternoon activities.
Think seriously about making a mammogram appointment.
Remember how unpleasant that is and quickly forget to make the call.
Briefly consider showering.
Browse all shelves of refrigerator for anything at all besides unopened eye drops.
Write something. Even if it’s just, “hi.”
Make a list of things that will help you become a better person. Include, “sharpening the old saw.”
Really start focusing now. You only need 300 more pages before you can call what you have there a book.
Call Sister, and then mother, and then all friends.
Text both kids and then stare at phone waiting for a response.
Bring laptop in car for change of scenery and inspiration.
Just keep driving until you get an idea.
Pull over.
Start typing, excitedly, like you’re in a movie.
Then sit back and read what you wrote.
Realize you almost completely plagiarized, “Saving Mr. Banks.”
Drive home…thinking…thinking.
Drive to friend’s house by accident.
Talk about how hard it is to write, while looking through her clothes, drinking all of her wine and watching television.
Go home.
Change into a different pair of pajamas to fool husband.
Feel good about yourself. You earned it!
